Long time

Hey everyone I knows its been a long time since my last entry but I just needed to live my life outside of this blo. But now I am back and back with more juice. and not all about my life but my own hot topics.I will say my life right now ould be its own reality TV show. Over the past coupe of months I got a new boyfrined, found out my X wants me back, and found out that my homeboy is in love with me. So it was been an interesting past couple of months in my love life. These guys are all good guys they have there faults but its something about them that I love so. Each one brings something different to my life. If I had my way I would be with one of them and the other two would be good frends Now I know they are going to say who's going to be the good friends and who would be the man. But thats for me to know. I know it sucks being pulled between them though, I do know one of them is perfect for me but only time will tell which one it is  

Hey people

Hey everyone I know its been awhile since I been on line blogging but my life has been so crazy, but crazy in a good way. I am packing up to move in November, I cant wait to get out of this house and leave all this drama behind. Although I lost both of my aunts in less then a month things have turned around for my family. I am currently planning a family reunion with my cousin, I even talked to my brother last week. No need to hold a grudge life is way to short. I am happy my hair has grown out and I can say me and Dre have came along way in our relationship. To finally get those feelings out that have been held back for months is a weight lifted off my shoulders. Although I am in a relationship with someone else we both know how each other feels and there is no more grey space. I love him he loves me and if I wasn't in a relationship we would probley be together but for right now we are always going to be there for each other thats just how we do.

I can say my man is very good to me, although there are little things he does that gets on my nerves but no ones perfect. For the first time in a long time I feel like I am in a real relationship. Playing games, going out (Guess what I dont have to pay my man works), having relaxation time at his house. Hell I never really liked big dogs but wen I am over his house I am playing with a 1 year old pitbull. I am so happy, I just needed to leave my past behind and move forward with my life. You know what they say "We fight to keep the bad relationship when the good man is right in our face, or around the corner". I realized why my last relationship didn't work and wasn't going to work out. That was because I wasn't in love anymore. I am getting all the love I have been looking for plus more. My kids are happy that mommy is happy. Life is good peoples. Hope everyone is goodand TTYL Kiss Kiss.

The week

This past weekend was crazy. My kids were gone for a whole week and time is going by so fast. This past weekend was to much. I went over my cousins went to see my other Aunt in the hospital then went and hung out with someone who wants to be the man in my life. Now this man is the sweetest man ever. We so much fun until me him my bestie and his boy started drinking. Its clear this man cant drink. I am not going to go into details about the time we spent together but he has potential to be that one. When we were together it was so peaceful. He wants to make this work but he knows i have stipulations. I can say one thing this man shows me what I need and what I want out of a relationship. He is strong and not a push over it feels funny to be with someone other then Dre but he knows how I feel about him and that our relationship is an ever lasting one. This past week I also got some bad news I lost another aunt. She has been fighting for years now and God just took her home. It's been a bad couple of weeks in my family but we are making it through. I realized some things about myself this past week and somethings about others in my life. I feel great about my decision to start this new relationship, no lies, no drama, and no bullshit. Spending the past 4 days with him I got to know more about him and I am ready to find out much more. The question is will my feelings for Dre cloud my judgement. I am not going to lie I love Dre but i wanted more and he just wasn't ready for that. Like he says "If your not taking a shit get off the pot". I am sit back and enjoy my time with my new man and still know that Dre is there for me through thick and thin just as I am there for him. We are thick as thieves, but I want more.

Whats on my mind

Today is August 11, 2012. Today I was supposed to be getting ready to get married. Having the wedding of my dreams but due to unforeseen events that will not be happening. I knew today was coming but I figured I would be able to not think about it and just go on with my life like it never meant anything. But I cant. I cant sit back and just forget about what today was supposed to be. Now I know some are saying why not? I picked this day to get marred on, I had a huge wedding planned with a cake from Cake Boss in NJ. But none of that is happening right now. Soon with the right man. Yes I said the right man. There was to many people in my last relationship. There was to many lies, cheating, and playing around in my lat relationships. Well I just had to get this off my chest. I may be laying with someone else but he knows what today was supposed to be and he respects the fact I feel sad about things that happened in the past. I know we cant change what happened in the past but I am in a good space right now. I am being honest about whats going on and my eyes are wide open. Time to hit the bed.

Kiss Kiss TTYL

Good Day

Feeing good today. Talked to my homegirl about moving on. The dating sceen is still crazy as ever, but I got it down. What I mean by that is weeding out the crazy ones. What I like about dating is not having to come out my pocket for anything that whole night.See I am not used to that, my last relationship I paid all the time so it feels good. It feels good to have a man call me who wants to be with me and only me. This man is holding me down in my time of nebed and its something i have been wanting for a very long time.Being able to pick up the phone say my phone or cable bill is due, and i hear dont worry about it and the bill gets taken care of. Time for a change when it comes to relationships

Hey Hey

Hey Hey people hows everything going? Haven't been online for a little while I have been so busy living my life. Life has been hard had some real set backs but that's life. My Aunt passed away and yes I took it hard but I had family and friends there to help me through those hard days. I am back dating again and I am telling you the dating world is a huge mess. Since when have men became so damn sensitive. I have been out with men who all cry when I don't drop what I am doing and tend to their needs. Hell I have kids I do that for. I swear every time I don't answer my phone its some man having a dying emergency. I just want to say look fellas I am single and I don't have to jump when you call. I am just not doing it. Sometimes I feel the need to give up on dating all together. But I can say their is one man that does understand me. I talk to him about these lame dudes and we just sit back and crack up. He knows me better then any man right now, and some say our relationship is meaningless but that's far from the truth. I bet you guys are reading this saying "Hello why are you dating when your perfect man is right there." This weekend was supposed to be my wedding day, I thought I was going to be depressed and feeling down but I am not. I have realized that life is to short and you have to leave the past in the past and move on. Whatever GOD sees fit for my life then thats whats going to happen. If I was meant to get married this weekend then it would of happend but thats not the case. So yes I am looking for Mister right and not mister right now. Who knows mister right might come before I even realize it.

Who Should I Choose

I have two good men in my corner
Both have their good points and both have their bad
One says I love you boo
The other says I love you too
One says I will never lie
The other says baby with out you I will die
One says baby I will never break your heart
The other says baby can we have a fresh start
I look at you both and think of the times we have had
I look at one of you and sometimes I get intently mad
One takes me for a joke and one takes me serious
I think about the times I've had and I sometimes get furious
To be in love with two men at one time
Knowing one of you dropped me like a dime
To roll over and see you laying next to me
I have that sense that everything is goin to be alright
You are both there for me when I need you
But I can't live my life being pulled between the two
The one I want has to want me
The one I need has to be able to see
me for who I am not not try to change me
Looking at things sometimes I am crazy and confused
But at the end of the day I know Who I shuld Choose