Well well well

Hey everyone I haven't been blogged in a while because I have been so busy making major changes in my life. My professional life is doing ok but my personal life is up in the air. Of course my X has came back in my life. He wants to pick everything up where we left off like nothing has happened, and I can't do that. I have to know in my heart that I am not second best because the road he went down couple of months ago was a big dead end road. I don't know how to process the fact that he wasn't man enough to to not through me under the bus in his blog to make her feel good. Like where they do that at....He claims she wanted him to write about her and dis me in his blog, and he didn't want to do it but he did it to make her feel good about herself. Man that's total BS for real, I never let the other man in my life talk about him or disrespect him on my blog because I know what my X did for me and I am not going around saying he's no good and the other man is showing me what a real man is. It's no reason for all that mess. 
I take responsibility for my part in messing up this relationship but I don't take full responsibility. Last year I was going through a lot and I didn't know how to deal with all the stress. So I turned to the chat line talking to people and not the man I was supposed to marry. I didn't know how to deal with the fact I gave up my apartment to move to Baltimore but my move was delayed and we had to move in with my mom. He says I didn't honor the ring he gave me, but he didn't honor the hardships of a relationship. He ran home the first chance he got and that was the end of us. I still love him just as much as I did this time last year, but I am not that same person I was this time last year. Well it's time for me to get my kids homework done and get them ready for dinner...TTYL

Whitney Houstons results

Below is the first report I did when she was found dead on February 12, I wrote this blog on February 13. Now her death is being concluded as a drowning and the effects of atherosclerotic heart disease and cocaine use. So did she have water in her lungs or didn't she it's not that hard to tell if she did or didn't. I swear this is a conspiracy water in the lungs now but non on February 13th.
Whitney's Houston's autopsy concluded that she didn't drown in the bath tube. Even though she was under water for at least 30 minutes. Her lungs didn't have any water in them, but their was a small amount of prescription drugs found in her room. The coroner says not enough for an overdose. TMZ reported that the prescriptions included ibuprofen, Xanax, Midol and amoxicillin. These drugs are not that serious but if you take them all together they can have lethal side affects. These drugs have not been linked to her cause of death. The toxicology results will not be ready for another six to eight weeks. Just like Michael Jackson's death we have to wait to find out what happened. TMZ reported that Houston's family was told by L.A. County Coroner officials that the singer didn't die from drowning, but from a combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs that were mixed with alcohol.Was Whitney depressed like the Enquire said? Did Whitney take a lethal does of pills and kill herself? No one will know for another six to eight weeks, but I will keep up with the story until the end. Whitney's funeral is being held in Newark NJ on Monday. Until next time...Keeping up with the 411

?

I titled this blog ? for a reason. I was talking to a good friend of mines and he told me I have been through so much pain and hurt that I have no trust when it comes to men. I think I am take myself and go see someone professional and talk my problems out about trust. I really don't trust men, I am not going to say people I am just going to say men who I have been hurt by. I tried having a friendship with my X with no strings attached and we both realized that the feelings are still there but there is no trust between us. One week we are cool and the next he's back screaming at me, pressuring me to make decisions that in my heart I am not ready to make. I am put it out there like it is What I have going on in my heart has nothing to do with Dre or Dyshaun. I have demons of my own I am battling right now as far as trusting a man. Dre is my friend and he knows how I feel about him. Dyshaun is I don't know what he is right now but I do love him.We don't trust each other but I do love him,  iam not going to say I don't. One thing I do know is I am not going to be bullied for forced to make hasty decisions without thinking about them first and I don't give a rat ass who has something to say about it. This is my life and every decision I make not only affects me it affects my kids. Bringing him back in my life affects my kids and I have to think about that. I have to know in my heart that me and him are sold again, and I believe that takes longer then 2-3 weeks of talking after a year of lying to each other. Well time for me to get myself together and get the kids together we are going Bowling today. TTYL

Why

I woke up 4:40am and haven't been back to sleep. I have no clue why I woke up but I am not going to have restless nights. Haven't had them in the past couple of months and not about to start. Yesterday was a mess man I have no clue why I was arguing with my X now that makes no since. How can someone say that want to keep our conversations secret but turn around and want to make demands. I know he still loves me and I still have just as much love for him but I am not turning my life upside down for him again. I refuse to ride the crazy coaster called the Dyshaun show again. I will not be rushed into anything that I am not ready for, or be jerked around. It's funny how people think you are suppose to forget all the pain they have caused you or all the fake actions through out the time. I have forgiven all the actions but I will not forget how I was treated not at all. So if that changed me into the person who I am today then like it or leave it. I have no time for flakiness or fake people. Past couple of months I have seen people for who they are and when I was there for them it was good for them 100%. I am not just talking about my last relationships I am talking from family on down. I am proud to say I have reached my level of success with only my mom and my sister that's the only family of mines I know that's not out for what I have. I say that because they are the only ones besides a couple of close friends of mines that call me on a regular basis and say HI how are you is there anything you need. I am telling you have grown up with money and success in your life you don't see the people who are out for the take. But if you haven't and you are starting to get things together you will see who's there for you and who's there just because they need something from you. It's clear to me...and I have no problem telling people. Matter a fact it will I might just put it on my answering machine. "HELLO YOU HAVE REACHED MYEIKA IF YOU ARE CALLING TO ASK ME FOR SOMETHING THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU STAND IN MY LIFE BEFORE YOU ASK BECAUSE IT MIGHT JUST BE A WASTE OF BREATH. LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AT THE BEEP." I am telling you it's cruel but you have to separate the people who are there for you from the people who are there because you can get them further. Well time for me to get my kids out of here. TTYL

It's not that easy

Some people believe that it's easy for one to forget the pain the other has caused. It' s not easy. It' not easy for me to forget about him calling me a fall back chick. It's not easy for me to forget about him telling me he's in love with another women. It's not easy for me to forget about all the lies and hurt he caused me over time. I have forgiven him for all these things but I will not forget. The past is in the past but I will not make the same mistakes again. I will not commit myself to another relationship knowing in my heart there is a possibility he only came back to me because the other women left him. I don't want no drama in my life and I like my life peaceful and quite. I don't want anybody demanding what I should do and who I should and should not have in my life. One thing about me is I choose who's in my circle and I choose who I want to be around. All I am saying in this blog is it's not easy being me and knowing what's in my heart and handling the pain that I will never forget. TTYL

What's going on

Today has been a great day I had me a really good time at work today. Just thinking about being with you and how much I miss you. I haven't felt your touch and I miss the way your hands feel over my body. To feel the man you are dreaming abouts touch drives you crazy. To feel him licking every inch of your body just makes you squirm in your seat. To think about him being between my legs and us making love until we cant do it anymore. That's what was on my mind all day today. I see others had the same things on their mind this Monday. Blogs are off the hook now with people talking about spring and summer flings. I talked to my friend who happened to be my X and he had me cracking up talking about women who propose to men. All I had to add to that was if a man don't ask me then there is no wedding. I need a ring, I need him to be down on one knee I guess I am old school. I don't want my man proposing to me over Facebook or Twitter or Text Message. Where's the romance in that. I can never see me asking my man to write about me or acknowledge me to anyone. That's his job and his job alone, if he don't do it from the start then its meaningless to me. I guess some people are desperate for attention. That's one thing I don't have to be is desperate I get what I want 100% hell I get what other people want 100%...I am just that greedy cocky chick. TTYL

Friendship

Whats the meaning of friendship. A real friend listens to you when you are going through the worst times a real friend. Real friends don't get what they want in life and then turn around and throw you under the bus. A good friend of mines is really going through it right now because someone he thought was his friend turned out to be nothing but a snake in the grass. I know he's in pain from this but it's a lesson learned and he will find his way out of this pain. It's easy for everyone to say move on it's for the best but no one knows what he is going through but him. Some people take loss harder then others and he is one of those people. It doesn't make him a soft person it just makes him human. I made it clear to him what my opinion is in the whole thing and who I believe are the snakes in  the grass. The next step is up to him on how he is going to handle this and find out who his real friends are. I have a handful of real friends and a bunch of associates. I never confuse the two because once you start confusing the two then you start bringing snakes into your friendship circle. Well time for me to go out side with the kids. TTYL