Well well well

Hey everyone I haven't been blogged in a while because I have been so busy making major changes in my life. My professional life is doing ok but my personal life is up in the air. Of course my X has came back in my life. He wants to pick everything up where we left off like nothing has happened, and I can't do that. I have to know in my heart that I am not second best because the road he went down couple of months ago was a big dead end road. I don't know how to process the fact that he wasn't man enough to to not through me under the bus in his blog to make her feel good. Like where they do that at....He claims she wanted him to write about her and dis me in his blog, and he didn't want to do it but he did it to make her feel good about herself. Man that's total BS for real, I never let the other man in my life talk about him or disrespect him on my blog because I know what my X did for me and I am not going around saying he's no good and the other man is showing me what a real man is. It's no reason for all that mess. 
I take responsibility for my part in messing up this relationship but I don't take full responsibility. Last year I was going through a lot and I didn't know how to deal with all the stress. So I turned to the chat line talking to people and not the man I was supposed to marry. I didn't know how to deal with the fact I gave up my apartment to move to Baltimore but my move was delayed and we had to move in with my mom. He says I didn't honor the ring he gave me, but he didn't honor the hardships of a relationship. He ran home the first chance he got and that was the end of us. I still love him just as much as I did this time last year, but I am not that same person I was this time last year. Well it's time for me to get my kids homework done and get them ready for dinner...TTYL

Whitney Houstons results

Below is the first report I did when she was found dead on February 12, I wrote this blog on February 13. Now her death is being concluded as a drowning and the effects of atherosclerotic heart disease and cocaine use. So did she have water in her lungs or didn't she it's not that hard to tell if she did or didn't. I swear this is a conspiracy water in the lungs now but non on February 13th.
Whitney's Houston's autopsy concluded that she didn't drown in the bath tube. Even though she was under water for at least 30 minutes. Her lungs didn't have any water in them, but their was a small amount of prescription drugs found in her room. The coroner says not enough for an overdose. TMZ reported that the prescriptions included ibuprofen, Xanax, Midol and amoxicillin. These drugs are not that serious but if you take them all together they can have lethal side affects. These drugs have not been linked to her cause of death. The toxicology results will not be ready for another six to eight weeks. Just like Michael Jackson's death we have to wait to find out what happened. TMZ reported that Houston's family was told by L.A. County Coroner officials that the singer didn't die from drowning, but from a combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs that were mixed with alcohol.Was Whitney depressed like the Enquire said? Did Whitney take a lethal does of pills and kill herself? No one will know for another six to eight weeks, but I will keep up with the story until the end. Whitney's funeral is being held in Newark NJ on Monday. Until next time...Keeping up with the 411

?

I titled this blog ? for a reason. I was talking to a good friend of mines and he told me I have been through so much pain and hurt that I have no trust when it comes to men. I think I am take myself and go see someone professional and talk my problems out about trust. I really don't trust men, I am not going to say people I am just going to say men who I have been hurt by. I tried having a friendship with my X with no strings attached and we both realized that the feelings are still there but there is no trust between us. One week we are cool and the next he's back screaming at me, pressuring me to make decisions that in my heart I am not ready to make. I am put it out there like it is What I have going on in my heart has nothing to do with Dre or Dyshaun. I have demons of my own I am battling right now as far as trusting a man. Dre is my friend and he knows how I feel about him. Dyshaun is I don't know what he is right now but I do love him.We don't trust each other but I do love him,  iam not going to say I don't. One thing I do know is I am not going to be bullied for forced to make hasty decisions without thinking about them first and I don't give a rat ass who has something to say about it. This is my life and every decision I make not only affects me it affects my kids. Bringing him back in my life affects my kids and I have to think about that. I have to know in my heart that me and him are sold again, and I believe that takes longer then 2-3 weeks of talking after a year of lying to each other. Well time for me to get myself together and get the kids together we are going Bowling today. TTYL

Why

I woke up 4:40am and haven't been back to sleep. I have no clue why I woke up but I am not going to have restless nights. Haven't had them in the past couple of months and not about to start. Yesterday was a mess man I have no clue why I was arguing with my X now that makes no since. How can someone say that want to keep our conversations secret but turn around and want to make demands. I know he still loves me and I still have just as much love for him but I am not turning my life upside down for him again. I refuse to ride the crazy coaster called the Dyshaun show again. I will not be rushed into anything that I am not ready for, or be jerked around. It's funny how people think you are suppose to forget all the pain they have caused you or all the fake actions through out the time. I have forgiven all the actions but I will not forget how I was treated not at all. So if that changed me into the person who I am today then like it or leave it. I have no time for flakiness or fake people. Past couple of months I have seen people for who they are and when I was there for them it was good for them 100%. I am not just talking about my last relationships I am talking from family on down. I am proud to say I have reached my level of success with only my mom and my sister that's the only family of mines I know that's not out for what I have. I say that because they are the only ones besides a couple of close friends of mines that call me on a regular basis and say HI how are you is there anything you need. I am telling you have grown up with money and success in your life you don't see the people who are out for the take. But if you haven't and you are starting to get things together you will see who's there for you and who's there just because they need something from you. It's clear to me...and I have no problem telling people. Matter a fact it will I might just put it on my answering machine. "HELLO YOU HAVE REACHED MYEIKA IF YOU ARE CALLING TO ASK ME FOR SOMETHING THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU STAND IN MY LIFE BEFORE YOU ASK BECAUSE IT MIGHT JUST BE A WASTE OF BREATH. LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AT THE BEEP." I am telling you it's cruel but you have to separate the people who are there for you from the people who are there because you can get them further. Well time for me to get my kids out of here. TTYL

It's not that easy

Some people believe that it's easy for one to forget the pain the other has caused. It' s not easy. It' not easy for me to forget about him calling me a fall back chick. It's not easy for me to forget about him telling me he's in love with another women. It's not easy for me to forget about all the lies and hurt he caused me over time. I have forgiven him for all these things but I will not forget. The past is in the past but I will not make the same mistakes again. I will not commit myself to another relationship knowing in my heart there is a possibility he only came back to me because the other women left him. I don't want no drama in my life and I like my life peaceful and quite. I don't want anybody demanding what I should do and who I should and should not have in my life. One thing about me is I choose who's in my circle and I choose who I want to be around. All I am saying in this blog is it's not easy being me and knowing what's in my heart and handling the pain that I will never forget. TTYL

What's going on

Today has been a great day I had me a really good time at work today. Just thinking about being with you and how much I miss you. I haven't felt your touch and I miss the way your hands feel over my body. To feel the man you are dreaming abouts touch drives you crazy. To feel him licking every inch of your body just makes you squirm in your seat. To think about him being between my legs and us making love until we cant do it anymore. That's what was on my mind all day today. I see others had the same things on their mind this Monday. Blogs are off the hook now with people talking about spring and summer flings. I talked to my friend who happened to be my X and he had me cracking up talking about women who propose to men. All I had to add to that was if a man don't ask me then there is no wedding. I need a ring, I need him to be down on one knee I guess I am old school. I don't want my man proposing to me over Facebook or Twitter or Text Message. Where's the romance in that. I can never see me asking my man to write about me or acknowledge me to anyone. That's his job and his job alone, if he don't do it from the start then its meaningless to me. I guess some people are desperate for attention. That's one thing I don't have to be is desperate I get what I want 100% hell I get what other people want 100%...I am just that greedy cocky chick. TTYL

Friendship

Whats the meaning of friendship. A real friend listens to you when you are going through the worst times a real friend. Real friends don't get what they want in life and then turn around and throw you under the bus. A good friend of mines is really going through it right now because someone he thought was his friend turned out to be nothing but a snake in the grass. I know he's in pain from this but it's a lesson learned and he will find his way out of this pain. It's easy for everyone to say move on it's for the best but no one knows what he is going through but him. Some people take loss harder then others and he is one of those people. It doesn't make him a soft person it just makes him human. I made it clear to him what my opinion is in the whole thing and who I believe are the snakes in  the grass. The next step is up to him on how he is going to handle this and find out who his real friends are. I have a handful of real friends and a bunch of associates. I never confuse the two because once you start confusing the two then you start bringing snakes into your friendship circle. Well time for me to go out side with the kids. TTYL

Today

Today was a great day I spent time doing what I love to do the most. I was enjoying the peace and quite no interruptions just an all around good day. There was no drama today I just laid back enjoyed my spa time and got myself pampered. I am always doing things so spontaneous I was wondering how could I top myself when it comes to my sex life. The matching sets, the oils, the shots out of my belly and cleavage I have done all that. I am to old to be getting in the back seat. I think I know whats next adding some company to my sex life. I think I am join a swingers club and see how we like that. I have been curious about those spots for a min. I am ready to see about other things in the world. I have been engaged before I have had the side man before...now it's time for me to see about having fun with another couple or me and him and another couple I wonder how he would feel about that. Well I am in a peaceful place right now I am chill and study for my test on Monday. TTYL

TGIF

Thank God It's Friday. I got the kids up early this morning because I have to go to Delaware today they are hot but they will be alright. I am so happy the weekend is here I have a lot of work to do but everything will be done by Monday. I am hoping this weekend goes by smooth and nothing goes all hay wire. I was supposed to get my hair done yesterday but I was so swamped that I never made it. Thank God my hair dresser takes walk ins so I will be there Tuesday. I broke my toe last week and it's finally coming around so I will be back in the gym next week. It's been 2 weeks I have been out with my toe and I miss working out. Spring Break is almost here so you know what that means Myrtle Beach with the kids having a blast. Last night before I fell asleep I talked to my homeboy about somethings that where bugging me, I am telling you he's my peacemaker. When I say that it means he helps me get back to that peaceful place when I am stressing about certain things. That's why I said in last nights blog if we never sleep together again I don't want to lose that friendship. That's why when he said what he said I was hurt. Me and my X are talking on the phone chatting about whats been happening the past 3 months. We are becoming friends like we used to be before we got into a relationship. He talks to me about the women he's dating and I talk to him about the man I am with. It's no drama there and it's peaceful. I am glad he finally sees people for who they are and how certain people in your life are roots and others are leaves. He's been through a lot of transformation in his circle and its for the best. My opinion friends should be there for you no matter what your choices are that's a friend. But hey the best revenge is served cold. Like I told him Do You and I am telling you people will be kissing your ass to be back in your circle and shit on them. Hell thats' what I do. Well time for me to get myself together. TTYL

This week

This has been a crazy week I have been so busy my schedule is packed and I have a lot of work this weekend. Last night I started my international marketing class and I was so beat. Tomorrow I am going out of town during the day, I will be back when the kids get off the bus. I am not going far just to Delaware for the day, I am telling you business never stops but as long as I have business I will have money. Today I went to a job interview I know I have my own business but I like having a W-2 job until my business takes off the way I want it to . I need that money security and having a second income is never bad. Plus this new job is working in different law firms as a legal secretary or law clerk which is cool because it goes with my degrees. Plus I am working through a temp agency so I can work where I want to unless one of the jobs want me to become a partner which would be great for me either way.

Well my love life is in a stale mate right now. I have been alone for the past couple of nights since me and his disagreement. I wasn't mad at what he said to me I was pissed off and couldn't believe he thought of me that way. It hurt I will say that, but he apologized. I can't imagine him not in my life, even if we are with different people our friendship is very important to me and what he said hurt. I know and understand why he said it though. Well time to relax and watch TV. TTYL

Been so busy

Hey everyone I have been so busy I haven't had time blog or chill. I had a business meeting today that went pretty well so now I am studying for a text next week and I am going to sit back and chill for the night. It has been pretty good on my end no drama or anything spit being called a job everything has been good. Tomorrow I have a 10:00am meeting with a law firm, and I am supposed to get my hair done after that meeting. I got my truck serviced the other day and it cost me more money then I was planning to put out. So nothing much has been happening, I am healthy my sister is doing  good and the kids are good. I have a lot to think about though as far as my relationships go so I will keep everyone posted on that. Well Don't forget to push your clock up 1 hour on Sunday. TTYL

Good AM

Hey everyone hope everyone had a good weekend I had a blast down home with my family. Man I came home yesterday and had a talk with an old friend. It was crazy to see how things have changed and how this person finally sees they have surrounded themselves with fake ass people. I am telling you fake people and roaches they wont ever go anywhere. We had a good talk and it wasn't like it used to be we actually talked like normal friends. I am not even going to lie I talked to my X yesterday and even though he doesn't have my number it didn't really matter. Before I went to bed we talked about how everyone was in our business and we let certain things come between us which was true. When he told me he loved the other women I found that to be shocking and totally funny. I just wanted to see how long it was going to be before she played him and left him. Which we all saw coming. It's funny how she was telling him "Wow you back talking to her you just don't learn." But she played him man I am telling you they two peas in a pod. We all said what women you know going let you call her a jump off then all of a sudden take her back with no fuss. Yea right. But like they say you live and learn. Hell I can't see myself personally insisting a man write about me. Hell if he don't do it own his own then its not from the heart, it's only because the women kept going on and on and on about it. Well I guess those 2 years I thought I was in a relationship was no comparison to these past couple of months. Some people have to go through the fire before they realize how hot it is. Like they say you never know what you had until you lose it. I just sit back and crack up because I knew when I would write something it was always write this or write that to make me feel some kind of way. The smell, the weight loss, the trip I am going on, etc. Once again if it didn't come from that persons heart or that persons brain then it was never true. It was just something to try and get under my skin. But like I been saying I don't care and hey I got what I wanted and still getting what I want whenever where ever however. At the end of the day I am the HBIC...because at the end of the day people are on my blog trying to be me.  PEACE TTYL

P.S. LIKE MARTIN SAYS RUN AND TELL THAT...I AM RIDING THIS SHIT UNTIL THE WHEELS FALL OFF

Last night/this morning

Hey everyone I wrote in my previous blog about how nice it was to fall asleep in his arms during the storm and how we did what we did at 4 am. Well I have been instructed to tell the whole truth. I didn't lie about anything in my previous blog I just left out some things and I received a text this morning saying I left out some information. Well I left the information out because I felt certain things should remain private. Like being engaged or telling someone you are having their kid, that's a private things. But I will put it out there our relationship has hit the next level as far as our sex lives go everything is perfect. Everything is better then its ever been. He wants me to post about him making me leave a big wet spot on the bed this morning, it was so big we had to sleep on top a towel. Then maybe 2-3 hours later he was right back at it again spooning. LOL. I am give him a break tonight because I am going out of town. But I will be back Sunday and we all know where he's going to be. Hey bees always find that sweet spot right. I should make you come over here and wash my sheets LOL it's all his fault they are messed up I told him to STOP but you think he would Hell NO. But let me get my self out of here....TTYL

Good Am

Hey everyone good morning I hope everyone is going to enjoy their Saturday. It's raining here like it has been for the past couple of days but you know what they say April showers brings May flowers which is funny because it's only March and it's been raining its ass off. But oh well. Last night it was storming and it was so peaceful, we curled up and fell asleep in each others arms during the storm I know you thought I was going to say we got it in during the storm naw that didn't happen until around 4am. I like them early in the morning wake and bakes. I know he's going to crack up when I write this: Ladies when you have kids that get up early in the morning say around 7:30 and you and your man are handling the business and the kids are knocking on the door messing things up. I am tell you send your kids down stairs to eat and tell him if he don't finish it you will finish it yourself and see how fast your man strips back down to nothing. I am telling you he was naked before I could roll over to reach under my bed and handle my business. LOL Hey but I can't complain he had me saying "The business is handled." Man it's going to be so hard to stop this relationship when it comes time to go back being mutual friends. When he gets a girl its going to be a bit hard not seeing him every day or every other day. But hey got to remember the good times right. Well time for me to get them ready to head down to my moms I have to get my oil changed first so I am do that then I am hit the road. TTYL

hey peoples

Today was a great day I made some real things happen today. Hopefully I will have a new client next Wednesday and make me about 4,000 in commission. The life of having your own business is the best I am telling you controlling your own money is where it's at. I am sitting up here sipping on some Henn Black and Coke chilling watching TV. I am in chill mode and tomorrow I will taking the kids down the shore. I am going out tomorrow as soon as they hit the bed I am out. I have made me some goals at my job. I plan on being eligible to go to Arizona for New Years staying in the 4 season with a guest and bring in the New Years with people who are in the same business as myself sounds so great. I was a bit worried about taking this risk and going into business for myself but hey life is full of risk, you never take them you never know if you can make them work. I am going to put all I have in making this business work. All my blood sweat and tears will go into this company. I can't wait to see what its' going to be like this time next year. Who knows where I can go with this, but I am taking it and running with it. Well time to get back to my drink and my relax time. I see somebody has been googling me hey I hope you enjoyed what you read and leave me a comment. I always answer them well everyone have a great safe weekend. TTYL

Today

Today 10 years ago God gave me the most precious gift ever, he gave me my special big boy can't say little man anymore he's 10 now. Happy Birthday Deiontae mommy loves you so much. I had to put that announcement out there. Well TGIF so happy today is Friday. Last night I was up watching old Maury episodes from the week. Me and him were cracking up at these crazy ass people. This one man said I took care of my daughter when she wasn't mines and I been taking care of her since she's been mines. WTH does that mean LOL I am telling you it was off the chain. I tested Dre's loyalty to me last night and told him something that I have been wanting to do now for a little while. I didn't know how he would react but he was ok with it. So we are going to get that up- and going soon very soon. Last night was so peaceful I love it when I am being held throughout the night, makes me feel safe and wanted. I sleep a lot sounder when he is in the bed with me and I can feel his body heat next to me. Call me crazy but it feels good to have someone you know is there for you and only you and you don't have to question that loyalty. I used to have that in my last relationship but we all saw how that played out. Although me and my X have talked a couple times this week I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. I don't want him thinking that everything is back the way it used to be when it clearly isn't. I am not going down that road again, any conversation with him will be few between and as friends. Man I get a full nights sleep and I am still tired as hell. This makes no since at all, well let me get up and get ready for work TTYL.

Good AM

Good morning everyone today is my on the road day. I will not be in the office today. I will be on the road going from place to place today. My partner asked me to map quest some address I was like no thats' what GPS is for. I remember the last time I used map quest to find a location. I was going to Georgia and map quest had us all the way in Florida. That was a funny trip, at that time I didn't have a GPS well I had my phone but I didn't have a phone charger so we kept having to pull over to different places to charge the phone it was fun though. But never again will I drive somewhere using map quest and a mans direction, with these you are bound to get lost every time. LOL Last night I was up on the phone cracking up with a girlfriend of mines we were talking about old times and just messing around. Now I am tired and I want to hit the bed but I have to go out DC today. I am upset with my toe still being broke it sucks I can't wear my heels and I love my shoes. It was something when I was in GA I had on heels and the roads were dirt I was like OMG where am I at. I liked it down there though you could get a 5th of grey goose for for half of what you pay for it here. I was like wow let me get 2. Everything was cheap down there I couldn't believe it. I've had some other fun road trips but it seemed like it took forever to get to GA.
 I got invited to another bridal show but go figure I am not getting married any more. But I might still go these shows are something you get free alochol and food, along with door prizes and meet some great vendors who do more then weddings so I still might go out there to see certain vendors. Well I got to get my butt up..TTYL Keep reading