?

I titled this blog ? for a reason. I was talking to a good friend of mines and he told me I have been through so much pain and hurt that I have no trust when it comes to men. I think I am take myself and go see someone professional and talk my problems out about trust. I really don't trust men, I am not going to say people I am just going to say men who I have been hurt by. I tried having a friendship with my X with no strings attached and we both realized that the feelings are still there but there is no trust between us. One week we are cool and the next he's back screaming at me, pressuring me to make decisions that in my heart I am not ready to make. I am put it out there like it is What I have going on in my heart has nothing to do with Dre or Dyshaun. I have demons of my own I am battling right now as far as trusting a man. Dre is my friend and he knows how I feel about him. Dyshaun is I don't know what he is right now but I do love him.We don't trust each other but I do love him,  iam not going to say I don't. One thing I do know is I am not going to be bullied for forced to make hasty decisions without thinking about them first and I don't give a rat ass who has something to say about it. This is my life and every decision I make not only affects me it affects my kids. Bringing him back in my life affects my kids and I have to think about that. I have to know in my heart that me and him are sold again, and I believe that takes longer then 2-3 weeks of talking after a year of lying to each other. Well time for me to get myself together and get the kids together we are going Bowling today. TTYL