My decision

I have come to the conclusion that I might stop blogging for a little while, like for a month or so. I need to get back in the real world. This mess has become addicting , I have my own reasons to stop blogging, one is to move on with my life. My blog has been focused around what happened in my last relationships and whats going on in my current friendship/relationship whatever you want to call it. After getting the news about my Aunt I have decided to spend time with my family and friends. I have something special right in front of my face and being on this blog is the wrong way to tell someone how you feel about them. I will be back in a couple of months. I came to a realization I have been blogging about what's been going on in my personal life, like what's going on in my bed and all that to be ignorant. It's not because I want Dre to know I am talking or thinking about him because he's here sometimes when I am blogging. It's because I wanted to be an asshole and throw it in certain peoples faces that I am moving on with my life. But it's no reason for me to do that, what I am do from now on is like he said "It's his time and I shouldn't be blogging on his time." He knows I am thinking about him and talking about him to my girl friends, all I have to do is text him and say I need you and he's here . So no need to talk to him through my blog to me that's getting old. Time for me to turn over look him in his face and talk to him or pick up the phone and talk to him or text him either way my message will get to him. I have noticed in the past couple of days my I am happy but I have been a bit bitter about stuff, the only way for me to move on from that bitterness is to leave that previous relationship right where it is in the past. I won't be able to look at what's in front of me if I keep looking at what's behind me. I had some fun times this past couple of years I will always remember them but I can't keep living in them. This blog is a way for me to keep the past and i am leaving the past in the past. I have to much ahead of me to keep looking back and wondering where things went wrong. He is happy and he's not thinking about me so no need for me to keep throwing what I am doing in his face not even knowing if he's reading it. It's not fair to Dre, what me and him do and where me and him are going is no one's business but mines and his. I will say he is no Dyshaun and I will not judge him for any mistakes made from my past. We are friends and our friendship comes first before anything. Yes I love him, yes I have feeling for him more then friendship, but at the end of the day I am protecting our friendship. I am not jumping into a rebound relationship for anything, if me and him end up together then that's what it will be if we decide to remain friends it's no ones business but ours. He has my back 100% and that's all I ask from him. As for tonight it's shots and Madden haven't did that in awhile and I am see what comes out of our mouths tonight.
This thing with my aunt is hitting me hard, and I have to get the courage to go up to this hospital and see her hooked up to all these machines and not looking like her self. That's my family and it hurts to lose someone so close to you. I will continue to keep you guys posted on my weight loss progress and my daily readings but as far as me blogging about what's going on with me I will let you guys know where I am in a couple of months like 5-6 months from now. I wont be looking at anyone else blog or anything. If you are not on my facebook, twitter, or you know me personal then you will get the update when I re post. TTYL